Tuesday, July 12, 2005

My Two Favorite Gadgets

Let me just come out and admit that I carry a purse. ("Come out" may have been the wrong choice of words.) No, I don't have matching shoes, and no, you can't borrow my lipstick. ("Ho, ho, ho--I never heard that one before!") Of all the gadgets I have tried, none has changed my life so much for the better than this old black camera bag that I now sport wherever I go.

In pre-purse days, I would end every meeting, movie, and meal with The Dance, patting myself down as I ran through the checklist--keys, wallet, blackberry, camera, phone, receipts--and still inevitably leave a trail of belongings sprinkled behind me. But now that I carry a purse, I no longer (publicly) pat myself down or trace back my steps in search of my wallet. Every morning when I dress, every moment I move around, my chachkes are present and accounted for in my precious sack. Truly, it's technology that works.

At least half of you already know how to use a purse. For the rest of you, if you're man enough to brave the stigma here are some tips:

1. Old camera cases work best -- they are free, slightly masculine, padded, and equipped with strap.
2. Get one with Velcro! It's the quickest way to extract and deposit, without risking leakage.
3. When your beer-bellied pals ask "What is THAT??" just look them in the eye as tell them it's your purse. ("Man bag", "camera case", or other diversions will only encourage the snickers.)
4. Label your new purse with name and telephone in the unlikely event of total loss. I recommend the P-Touch Label Printer, my second favorite gadget!

13 comments:

  1. [Elaine with Jerry at his apartment.]

    ELAINE: So, you had to carry some of Keri's stuff. Big deal.

    JERRY: You don't understand. I went on a successful pocket diet, and I want to keep that weight off.

    (Elaine making a bowl of cereal.)

    ELAINE: You know what? We sell this thing at Peterman that would be perfect for you.

    JERRY: Not more of that crap from the Titanic?

    ELAINE: No. No. It's a small men's carryall.

    JERRY: I'm not carrying a purse.

    (Elaine sits down at the table to eat her cereal.)

    ELAINE: It's not a purse. It's European.

    later...

    (A pickpocket runs by, taking Jerry's carryall, while everyone yells in surprise)

    JERRY: Hey! Officer! Someone took my European carryall!

    COP:: Your what?

    JERRY: The...black, leather...thing with a strap.

    COP:: You mean a purse?

    JERRY: Yes, a purse. I carry a purse!

    from:
    http://www.seinology.com/scripts/script-168.shtml

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of ridicule regarding your purse, I highly recommend referring to it as your "murse" and/or "man bag." It's an old Jedi mind trick that seems to produce good results.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As someone who just dropped his seventh Treo from the umpteenth time, I'm ready to make the leap into pursedom.

    Give me some advice: what brand/make/model do you carry?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Diego,
    I actually carry an old camera bag. It had some Japanese brand name on it--I think Habuka--but I covered that up with a P-Touch name/telephone label in case of loss. I confess that I often "shop for a new purse" whenever I'm waiting for a flight (Swiss Army sells some good configurations), but i have never found another one like what I already have, which works perfectly for me: (i) a single large compartment (saves time hunting), (ii) a velcro fastener (saves time opening and closing),(iii) an adjustable shoulder strap, and (iv) just the right size--enough for keys, phone, G100, camera (I hate convergence, which is why I need a purse), wallet, receipts, and dice (you never know).

    Good luck finding your own favorite.

    David

    ReplyDelete
  5. My man has carried a shoulder bag pretty much for as long as I have known him.....that would be about 25 years. He carries much the same stuff as I used to think I needed "just in case".

    Recently his bag has gotten heavier. I get him to lug my stuff too ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. So what is the second favorite gadget...your insights and humor are simply refreshing and cause me to laugh and think or think and laugh...order less important...point is your writing touches both the mind and heart and is full of spirit...for the reader to experience.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous8:00 PM

    I know where you can find some vute purses: http://maddymooshop.com/store/go.asp?nC=162

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:36 PM

    Ha ha, your statement about gadgets changing your life resembles me a quote from this site.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous3:01 PM

    I wouldn't carry a purse, it would just get left somewhere. I did get tired of carrying shit around, so now I wear carpenter trousers. They have that pocket on the side of the right leg, on the thigh, and it's great for the cell phone. Of course my wallet is in my back pocket. That is all I need, my life isn't complicated enough to need a PDA. I do have a music player, but it's incredibly small, and I wear it around my neck with buds draped over my neck. I use it to listen to audio books, not music. Keys go in the pocket, as they always have. Carrying a purse would just encourage me to carry more unnecessary stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous8:07 PM

    Personally I like them. If you're looking for one I'd recommend zrbags.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6:14 AM

    Well, this is quite interesting. I am browsing the net looking for a carry all bag for men and suddenly find this page with so many familiar atheists posts and faces...

    So, inevitable question is if there is a correlation between readiness to carry a purse and atheist thinking? Both things seem like a blasphemy, don`t they?

    Great blog, best regards from Bosnia! (I bet you didn`t expect so many comments from here, did you?)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes, agreed, both man purses and atheism demand a certain strain of independent thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Summer1:26 AM

    unbelievable article. along with keys and wallet, i have been carrying around resentment in my own purse. i DREAM that my clothing would have pockets so i wouldn't have to lug around extra baggage. i DREAM that my hands and shoulders could actually be free and carefree.

    how inconvenient to have to drag a purse around your own home just to have access to keys/wallet etc.
    and moving items between purses, another pain.

    the inconvenience at offsite business meetings where you look fussy and overly feminine lugging around a purse.

    and oh, the places purses go! the germs they collect!

    nothing beats my favorite beloved gadget-- a pocket. trade you your pockets for my purses?

    ReplyDelete