Sunday, March 29, 2009

Bible Tweets

One great benefit of using Twitter is daily spiritiual nourishment. In particular I have discovered these two wonderful resources for Bible study -- even for those of us who suffer from FDD (Faith Deficiency Disorder):

1. @EvilBibleQuotesTwitter Button from
This tweeter simply shares one or two Biblical verses a day. @EvilBibleQuotes adds almost no commentary, letting God speak for Himself as documented in the sacred texts of Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Mormonism and Scientology. Some of the more disgusting verses tweeted...
If some worthless rabble encourage others to worship foreign gods, completely kill everyone in their town, and all the livestock! Deut13
Leukaemia is evidently psychosomatic in origin & at least 8 cases of it had been treated successfully by Dianetics. Jrnal of Scientology 15G
The Negroes are not equal with other races where the receipt of certain spiritual blessings are concerned. Mormon Doctrine 527
I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads & strike off every fingertip of them. Quran8:12
Women must be silent during church meetings. It's improper for them to speak. They must be submissive. Corinthians 14:34
Deut22 If a man takes a wife and dislikes her...& no proof of the girl's virginity can be found...stone her to death. via @jhctaylor
God's orders for punishing a whore: burn her children, amputate her ears, nose & breasts, & then stone her to death. Ezek 23
Acts19:19 [They] brought their books together and burned them before all men... So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.
God: "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung on your faces." Malachi 2:3. Good one, Lord. Real nice.
Plus @EvilBibleQuotes shares some modern Bibllical references...
Rep. Shimkus: God swore to Noah He won't destroy earth (Genesis8) so Congress shouldn't limit carbon emissions.
Trijicon, following "Biblical standards", inscribed John 8:12 on 100,000 US Army rifles now used in Iraq/Afghanistan.
Gideon Society spends $126M/yr on BIBLES (, enough to sponsor food,water,health,school for 350,000 desolate kids.
AZ state senator Sylvia Allen in real legislative hearings cites Biblical fact that Earth is 6,000 years old.
Citing Bible, Virginia Legislator says that God punishes women who abort with disabled kids later in life.
2. @FakeBibleTwitter Button from
For some comic relief, here is a lighter version of the same daily dose of Gospel. Some examples from the Noah story...
Gen8:4 On Jewly 17th, the ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat. Ararat was a volcano, but a dormant one, because God isn't a total dick.
Gen9:4 Shem: "So... drain every molecule of blood from meat before eating it?" God: "That's impossible. What are you, Bizarro vampires?"
Gen9:8-10 "I now establish my covenant with you and every living creature on Earth. The space aliens, I'll talk to separately."
and from the Tower of Babel:
Gen11:7-8 So God confounded eir-they anguages-lay and los dispersó loin de là sur toute la terre ed essi cessarono di 都市の建設。
So now there's no excuse for Biblical illiteracy. Following these two tweeters is my recipe for Light Soul Cuisine -- tasty, spiritual nutrition in only 140 characters!

1 comment:

  1. What's fascinating is reading some of the commentary on the Bible (both testaments) that explores the reasoning behind some of these statements and places it in historical and sociological context. Reading the Bible Again for the First Time and Saving the Bible from Fundamentalists are well-researched and very helpful, I found.