Tuesday, September 13, 2005


Do No Evil, they say. But no one said you can't be naughty now and then...

Reliable, inside sources who understandably wish to remain anonymous have confirmed to me that (and I kid you not) Google's recruiters have been directed to hire every attractive single woman they can. Now that Grateful Dead chef Charlie Ayers cashed in his stock option, this is Google's new retention program.

Maybe that explains the genesis of "I'm Feeling Lucky," and also what the founders were really doing at Playboy Magazine. Could Paris Hilton be Google's next Vice President Engineering?


  1. Okay I'm down. Should I just show up to work tomorrow in Mountainview? I need a girlfriend.

  2. Paris meet Marissa. "Ohmigod, I love your work.", "I google myself all the time, ohmigod". Who said there couldn't be another sequel to the Revenge of the Nerds series. Maybe Larry, Sergey in a Prequel episode, with Paris/Marissa as the love interest(s) : They could be the first female co-joined siamese twins.


  3. Anonymous3:11 PM

    Damn, why doesn't Google just organize regular company trips to brothels in Nevada for their geeks? Sort of like a quarterly company event.

  4. Anonymous9:38 AM

    Marissa is hot.

  5. Anonymous8:13 PM

    reminds me of Trilogy Development during their hay days. . .

  6. Anonymous3:20 AM

    Paris Hilton? Didn't you say they should be attractive woman?

  7. Please tell me this is a joke! If not, what an insult to women everywhere. Why can't they hire attractive single men for their female employees?!!!


  8. Anonymous5:56 PM

    I wish more companies would hire attractive women. It would make going to work easier.

  9. Anonymous7:58 PM

    Honestly why not? Sure, hire single attractive men to make life more interesting for...single men? Demographically, that'd only work for a small percentage of single men.

    Hey listen, men and women THINK differently, it's a biological fact. Frankly, I would guess that hiring loads of single attractive women would be a win-win situation, especially given the quantity of smart male brains (i.e. money, i.e. security) currently burning up kilocalories at Google.

  10. Anonymous5:17 AM

    Blah, blah blah. Hiring attractive women for what purpose? Just to hang around and look pretty? That is SO unlikely and stupid. How convenient that your sources want to remain anonymous.

    Please, walk me through this. Pathetic geek fantasies aside, do you really think that Google is pimping for its future employees?

  11. Anonymous6:48 AM

    Well, the old SCO was reputed to have acted as a pusher for its programming staff, supposedly providing a range of recreational pharmaceuticals. Drugs are just so pre-millennial.

  12. Well, I know Google do things differently exemplified by the result you get when you type in the word "Failure" and press the -Im feeling Lucky- link box... The result? you get an instant page drop in of Geroge bush and the white house... Hmmm.. very funny..


  13. Anonymous12:35 PM

    Fucking cocksuckers. I'm a qualified professional that has been out of work for quite some time now and have applied for many jobs at Google. It's clear to me that they're suffering the same glamour-rot that hit all of the dot-coms in '00. What is it with this valley that people have to be such dicks when it comes to hiring qualified people?! I'm dying to demonstrate my value to the right company. Thanks for confirming the Google isn't it.

  14. Now this is a rumor I haven't heard before. Interesting if true but could it be? Somehow I doubt it. It would get out and it would cause trouble.

  15. Anonymous10:59 PM

    Right, and it just got out!

  16. Anonymous10:21 AM

    Sure bud. Is the next post about a guy you know in Nigeria that needs help moving millions out of a bank account?

  17. just a thought but surely a company as successful as google are only going to hire people who are competent. if they happen to be attractive as well then good luck.
    i do know however that in Britain employment law regarding equal ops would probably have something to say about that.

  18. Anonymous7:09 AM

    Paris hilton???? Didn't it say: every attractive single woman .

    She is the roughest pile of dog turd I have seen this and last century!!

  19. I know lots of attractive single women who can program - they're my friends (and me) - C++, php, Java, MySQL and whatnot. To whose attention should we send our resumes for this "attractive single women" program.

  20. Anonymous12:15 AM

    Like it or not, hiring well-bred attractive women is probably one of the most effective ways to attract and motivate talented males. Sorry! (BTW, don't feel too bad for the women---college 1st years are now 60% female.)

  21. Anonymous12:48 PM

    hiring well-bred attractive women

    Interestingly enough, it's not particularaly complimentary to be described using adjectives generally reserved for show-dogs.

  22. If that is true I would love to work for Google.